YinYang

stream

plug plug plug
nope
dammit, i want more more more than this that i am living i want to travel and to live and to be and to know who i am
damn
i want to get high
and drunk
i am drunk
but i want to be more drunk and to live more and to be more and to avoid the life of the boring and the complacent and the ones who settle for nothing but the every day bullshit
why can't i have that
work for 6 more minutes but why am i working
why do any of us work
dont we just have to exist??
just exist and live and experience but work takes away from that experience
that feeling of responsibility
that i just cannot shake
takes away from my ability to experience
life
fuck
i mow a lawn and trim teh edges and dust the furniture
but that's not life
i want to see more
i want the life
of jack kerouac
and dean moriarity
i wish i had the insanity of
dean moriarty
because that man knew how to live
and be and go go go
even though he was a bastard
especially to the women who loved him
i could never figure out how someone could be like that
just go and not think about others like that
i just have too much of a goddamn conscience i guess
i want more
but my conscience keeps me from getting more
fuck it
i hate my damned conscience
i would be so much happier
if there was no conscience
though i guess that would make me a psychopathic serial killer
or something along those lines
goddamn
it is 5:00
which means that it is time to sign off
from work
fuck this
i will commiserate
elsewehere
lightning

Sleeeeeeeepy

I find myself wishing i had the life of a house cat. Sleep 70% of the time. Eat. Play. Poop. Watch the birds and the squirrels through the window.

My life of late is just exhausting.
lightning

TV is stupid

With my mom having taken over the television during her stay here, I am rediscovering just how awful so many TV shows really are. Terrible plots, stupid humor, unrealistic dialog. This is how people spend their time? Their lives?

There's nothing to be learned from these shows. No growth. No thought. Just passive, uninspiring "entertainment." It's the worst form of escapism.

I'm not saying this applies to all television. There are some shows that are genuinely good and thought-provoking. But evening television shows on broadcast stations don't seem to fall into those categories.
  • Current Mood
    annoyed annoyed
  • Tags
Mysterion

The Devil Wears... Nothing?

I had the weirdest dream a few nights ago. I dreamed i was in an environment where there were a lot of fashion models. Well, no. Actually, I don't think I was actually there at all, but rather, I was watching a scene in which there were a lot of fashion models. I'm guessing I had this dream partly due to watching The Devil Wears Prada a few weeks ago. But, unlike the fashion in the movie, many of the models in my dream were virtually nude. Each had just a singular apparel piece that constituted their outfit, but otherwise was essentially naked. For example, one women wore a sort of cape, but it hung off one shoulder. Every thing else was exposed, including her breasts and the area down there. And she didn't even seem to notice nor act even slightly self-conscious.
  • Current Mood
    confused confused
  • Tags
lightning

Does anyone even read LJ anymore?

I've been on a British punk kick of late. More specifically, a Sex Pistols kick. Even more than that, I have been focusing a lot on Sid Vicious.

I first got into the Pistols during grad school. I listened to "Never Mind the Bollocks" over and over for a whole summer. Now it's all about Sid. I don't really care for Johnny Rotten, though.
sex drugs & rock

"High Hopes," Panic! At The Disco

I am addicted to this song right now.



Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes
Mama said
Fulfill the prophecy
Be something greater
Go make a legacy
Manifest destiny
Back in the days
We wanted everything, wanted everything
Mama said
Burn your biographies
Rewrite your history
Light up your wildest dreams
Museum victories, everyday
We wanted everything, wanted everything
Mama said don't give up, it's a little complicated
All tied up, no more love and I'd hate to see you waiting
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes
Mama said
It's uphill for oddities
The stranger crusaders
Ain't ever wannabes
The weird and the novelties
Don't ever change
We wanted everything, wanted everything
Stay up on that rise
Stay up on that rise and never come down
Stay up on that rise
Stay up on that rise and never come down
Mama said don't give up, it's a little complicated
All tied up, no more love and I'd hate to see you waiting
They say it's all been done but they haven't seen the best of me
So I got one more run and it's gonna be a sight to see
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing
Didn't have a dime but I always had a vision
Always had high, high hopes
Had to have high, high hopes for a living
Didn't know how but I always had a feeling
I was gonna be that one in a million
Always had high, high hopes
  • Current Music
    Panic! At The Disco
  • Tags